What My Own Maternity Experience Taught Me About management
Even in supportive workplaces, the system isn’t perfect. My husband and I did everything “right”—married nearly ten years before kids, steady jobs, paid bills, good credit, all the boxes checked—and still, we couldn’t afford a traditional maternity leave. There was no paid benefit for me; I could use sick days, but to “max out” that bank would have required years without a single sick day. That simply wasn’t realistic. So we planned our pregnancies around the academic calendar. With my first, born in March, I returned around finals and then had the summer at home. With my second, there were just twenty-six days between giving birth and standing at the front of a classroom again. This is the reality many families face.
Those early months held more logistics than sleep. Daycare closed at five; my evening classes began at six; my husband often coached late or traveled with his teams. There were nights he’d bring our tiny baby to my night class, and I’d teach with a sleeping newborn on my shoulder. We had no family nearby and I wasn’t comfortable leaving a weeks-old infant with a sitter. We made it work because we had to, and I’m grateful my workplace allowed it. I also know not everyone has that option. I’ve spoken with HR leaders who are compassionate and honest: FMLA and state policies can protect your job for several weeks, but they don’t put money in your account, and complicated pregnancies can burn through that clock before the baby even arrives. I’ve met mothers who returned to physically demanding jobs ten days postpartum because rent was due.
I’m telling you this because, as managers and leaders, we will eventually be the ones standing at the intersection of policy and people. When it’s our turn to influence someone’s life, we have to remember what it feels like to be that new parent tugged in opposite directions by love and responsibility. If you’ve lived it, you know. If you haven’t, imagine it’s your spouse, your child, your sister. The instinct to protect a newborn is strong for a reason; leaving that tiny person after only a handful of weeks can feel like breaking a promise you never meant to make. And let’s be clear: this is not a “women’s issue.” It’s a family issue. Fathers need time to bond, recover emotionally, and support their partners without guilt. Grandparents and extended family are often needed step in—even when it’s risky or unrealistic—because there’s no other choice. The worry doesn’t clock out just because we do.
I don’t have a perfect policy to offer you today. What I do have is a plea for perspective and creativity. When you can, be flexible with schedules. Offer short-term accommodations that reduce the friction of those first weeks back. Normalize bringing a baby to a zoom meeting for a short season if it’s appropriate. Help parents ramp back up with grace: fewer evening obligations, options to work from home when feasible, clear priorities so they can win the right battles first. Even small gestures such as paid hours for appointments, a private space to pump, a manager who says “we’ve got you for this stretch”can transform fear into loyalty. People remember how they were treated at their most vulnerable, and the return on that kindness is measured in engagement, retention, and trust.
Consider the human being behind the policy. Ask what would help, listen without judgment, and accommodate what you reasonably can. It’s worth it for the parent, for the child, and for the health of your team. The system may not be perfect, but we can choose to be kinder within it.
I’m here to help!
-Dr. Lean (September 2025)
