When Firing Isn’t Simple: Staying Safe in Difficult Employee Situations
Several years ago, just weeks after my youngest son had been born, my husband and I took a long trip to visit family in Canada so that they could meet the newest edition. While we were away, we left one of our employees our Lowe’s account card to buy parts for small repairs—basic things like plumbing supplies or materials for our rental properties. Lowe’s had assured us the card could only be used in-store for approved purchases. It wasn’t a credit card, just an accounts-receivable setup.
When we returned, I logged in to pay the balance and nearly fell out of my chair. There was more than five-thousand-dollars worth of charges - far more than a few plumbing parts. After some digging we discovered that the employee had purchased a pile of gift cards and multiple power tools. From what we could tell, he was pawning the tools for cash.
Clearly, he had to be terminated. But this wasn’t just a routine firing. He had committed theft, and we were prepared to involve the police if he didn’t repay the money. That kind of conversation can go sideways quickly as you’re taking away someone’s job, confronting them with evidence of a crime, and potentially sending them to jail. You never really know how a person will react in that moment.
To protect ourselves, we called a trusted friend who served on a local SWAT team. He agreed to be present, standing inside the building but out of sight with full protective gear, just in case. We arranged to meet the employee outside rather than inside the office. When he arrived, we explained what we had found and what it meant. Thankfully, he didn’t become violent. Instead, he broke down in tears, apologized, and accepted that we would pursue legal action.
We took the case all the way to the state supreme court. He still owes us the money. Eleven years later and we haven’t seen a dime, but I’m glad we followed through legally to prevent him from doing the same thing to another employer.
I share this not to scare you but to remind you that even small businesses need a safety plan for difficult terminations. We were a small operation, not a giant corporation, and this was someone we had trusted. It would have been easy to assume nothing dangerous could happen. Having a trained professional quietly present gave us peace of mind, and we never once felt silly for taking that precaution.
If you’re a manager or business owner, take this as encouragement to think ahead. Don’t fire someone over text (yes, I know people who have done that—it’s both tacky and unsafe). If there’s any risk of violence or escalation, meet in a neutral space, have a witness or security support if possible, and protect yourself and your team.
I’m here to help!
-Dr. Lean (August 2025)
